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Personal IC experiences
 Shovel Shack : Personal IC experiences
Subject Topic: Now what?
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mcdave
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Joined: Dec-25-01
Location: United States
Posts: 1809
Posted: Oct-25-09 at 9:44pm | IP Logged  

 Today i am having quite an internal struggle.my daughter called to tell me that she and her husband have decided to leave their "church".this is the same church that mary and i left almost 10 years ago and my daughter and her husband have chugged along recognizing that something was missing but keeping on because it was what they knew and honestly there is nothing else close to their idea of church anywhere nearby.also their daughters (5 now) are all actively involved with friendships and church activities.
       my daughter jennifer has known nothing but this church.she is 31 years old and we began attending when she was 6 months old.jennifers husband came into the church with a group of young people during a big "revival" in the mid 90s and stayed,fell in love with my daughter and entered "church life" with the gusto of youth.they are both active in the worship,both playing and leading along with my youngest son who is staying behind.her husband jason is over the sr high youth group etc etc....their faith is strong yet they know something is missing
.
  the kicker is now that they are following in our footsteps to leave what they admit is boring,dead religion,i am troubled in my own spirit for where they may end up.as we all know,leaving behind what is comfortable even though it is a shadow,is not for cowards and it is not easy.have i led them astray? though even as i type this i know the answer is no.still,being outside the stream of things has been hard at times,lonely at times and the scent of leeks and onions is always wafting about.i'm not even sure why i am so upset and perhaps there is no response to this needed but am putting it out there nevertheless.comments?


Edited by mcdave on Oct-25-09 at 9:50pm


      

     It's not works,it's coffee.
   

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gregoryfl
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Joined: Jan-24-08
Location: United States
Posts: 1311
Posted: Oct-26-09 at 7:23am | IP Logged  

Dave,

One wonderful thing they do have are people in you and Mary who have gone through what they are now going to be going through. The genuine love and encouragement you will provide I am trusting will be just what our Father provides, not only for Jennifer and her husband, but for you and Mary as well. I think I can understand some of the concerns you have for them. Know that the Lord has them right where they need to be, and that the love, which never gives up, and NEVER FAILS, which you give them, will have its work complete.

The same Father who is your Life each and every second, the one who has continued his work in you and Mary, I am assured will do the same in them. I rejoice with you both.

Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful news. I am believing that in you Dave, Mary, Jennifer, and her husband, I AM is about to take on a whole new dimension of reality in your experience.

I deeply love you so much bro,

Ron



      

What do you see when you look at me? Not the visible me that your eyes can see. For in Christ I am dead, yet alive and free. Free to be it all, as he lives in me.
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the shovel
Shackmeister
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Joined: Oct-01-01
Location: United States
Posts: 4187
Posted: Oct-26-09 at 7:28am | IP Logged  

Hello McDave!

Thanks for spilling your anxiety over this. I find it interesting how sometimes when we get what we've been asking for we aren't prepared for the results. I guess it's the wait that causes it to build up, eh? Of course, there are the voices of the past that have told you that you were a false teacher who was leading people astray. But then, as you have already reconsidered, those warnings come from a system of bondage that fears any real freedom.

Jim :)


      

DIGGIN'THE LIFE!
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mcdave
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Joined: Dec-25-01
Location: United States
Posts: 1809
Posted: Oct-26-09 at 9:41am | IP Logged  

Ron,Jim,

 This was exactly what I was hoping to hear,the encouragement of the brothers and sisters that not only had we done the right thing but that encouraging others was ok too.still,i am curious about the intensity of my feelings.i think maybe it is because of old macho toughness(yeah,you all know me Mr Tough), that i don't mind so much what happens to me but don't hurt my little girl or her family.
      ron, what struck me about your post was your comment "Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful news." it is,isn't it?they have a chance to experience REAL Life not a prepackaged shadow.Jim, so true about getting what we asked for and then not being ready for it.i think i never really expected them to come out forgetting that she is mary and my daughter after all 
and it took us over   20 years to leave.i  have hope but also know it is their path to walk.maybe it will indeed open up opportunity for us to really share the Life we know and enter into something new for all of us

Edited by mcdave on Oct-26-09 at 10:15am


      

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ShannonC
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Joined: Jun-21-07
Location: United States
Posts: 749
Posted: Oct-26-09 at 10:07am | IP Logged  

I agree with Ron that it is wonderful news!! I think the alternative - them never leaving - is more "dangerous" to your little girl than anything they could experience by leaving. I say this with all seriousness.  It has been almost 20  years since the first time I left (i have been back once, for any lenght of time) and I am just now discovering the TOXCICITY of the things I was taught in the I.C. I have had people tell me, well thank God you were brought up in church, you were sparred so much you could have gone through - like drugs, drinking, etc.  And while I do know that God works my past together for the good of my heart, the good of my future, I cannot say with a straight face that I was not deeply damaged by the deeply ingrained heresys I was taught about God.

It is one thing to meet God without any preconceived notions and to get to know Him that way, it is another thing to have YEARS upon YEARS of false teachings that you have to lay down to get to know our real Father.

And I am sure you and Mary will be great encouragement and comfort to them.



      

ShannonC
HE IS SO GOOD!
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luvin
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Joined: May-20-02
Location: United States
Posts: 5235
Posted: Oct-26-09 at 11:14am | IP Logged  

mcdave wrote:
 Today i am having quite an internal struggle.my daughter called to tell me that she and her husband have decided to leave their "church".this is the same church that mary and i left almost 10 years ago and my daughter and her husband have chugged along recognizing that something was missing but keeping on because it was what they knew and honestly there is nothing else close to their idea of church anywhere nearby.also their daughters (5 now) are all actively involved with friendships and church activities.
       my daughter jennifer has known nothing but this church.she is 31 years old and we began attending when she was 6 months old.jennifers husband came into the church with a group of young people during a big "revival" in the mid 90s and stayed,fell in love with my daughter and entered "church life" with the gusto of youth.they are both active in the worship,both playing and leading along with my youngest son who is staying behind.her husband jason is over the sr high youth group etc etc....their faith is strong yet they know something is missing
.
  the kicker is now that they are following in our footsteps to leave what they admit is boring,dead religion,i am troubled in my own spirit for where they may end up.as we all know,leaving behind what is comfortable even though it is a shadow,is not for cowards and it is not easy.have i led them astray? though even as i type this i know the answer is no.still,being outside the stream of things has been hard at times,lonely at times and the scent of leeks and onions is always wafting about.i'm not even sure why i am so upset and perhaps there is no response to this needed but am putting it out there nevertheless.comments?


Man Dave,
That's a big deal. I mean they have spent there whole lives at that church for the most part. Yet whatever it is that Christ is actually doing may not always appear "correct" to the eyes of religion and man.

May God comfort you and them with His eyes and ears.


      

It is peace[the kind we long for] to know that my life patterns do not distract or derail the Living God"-Adam

http:newthatsliving.blogspot.com
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Connie
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Joined: Dec-03-01
Location: United States
Posts: 1559
Posted: Oct-26-09 at 4:54pm | IP Logged  

Hi Dave,

You know, I think I know why it might bother you a little.  You said you know leaving is not for cowards. It isn't. And you know what they're still going to have to experince (or something similiar) in 'coming out'.

It isn't for the faint of heart to leave and go to a country they haven't known.

All you can do is be there for them and confirm at each place they stop that "yea, you're fine, and yea, this is the Lord".

And maybe you are freaking that you're totally responsible...but you're not. They already have a shepherd and it looks like they're doing just fine, huh?

Love you, brother.

 



      

Connie
"Wow!It's so bright in here!"
II Cor.4:5-6

    
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the shovel
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Joined: Oct-01-01
Location: United States
Posts: 4187
Posted: Oct-26-09 at 7:52pm | IP Logged  

Connie,

Thanks for jumping in with this potent morsel! :)

Love, Jim


      

DIGGIN'THE LIFE!
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luvin
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Joined: May-20-02
Location: United States
Posts: 5235
Posted: Oct-26-09 at 8:50pm | IP Logged  

the shovel wrote:
Connie,

Thanks for jumping in with this potent morsel! :)

Love, Jim


Yeah I agree Connie.


      

It is peace[the kind we long for] to know that my life patterns do not distract or derail the Living God"-Adam

http:newthatsliving.blogspot.com
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Dignz
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Joined: Jul-18-06
Location: United States
Posts: 1816
Posted: Oct-28-09 at 12:32am | IP Logged  

connie!  sooo wonderful to see you!  have missed hearing from you!    love what you shared!     have wondered how you be.  i send you hugs.   

i have really enjoyed reading what everyone has had to share here.  very encouraging! 

"...the kicker is now that they are following in our footsteps to leave what they admit is boring,dead religion,i am troubled in my own spirit for where they may end up..."  <mcdave

boring dead religion!  what a wonderful thing to come to see!  worried about where they may end up?  how about FREE!? 
how about relieved and refreshed?  how about seeing things from a truly HONEST perspective for a change?  things like that. 

i understand the feelings of disorientation.  hopefully they will realize that a lot more of what they thought was solid ground in all that religion indeed was not, but was mere illusion, and that in reality they were ON solid ground all along despite and in the midst of the illusions.   

i rejoice with you and yours! 




Edited by Dignz on Oct-28-09 at 12:34am


      

"afterall, he's not a tame lion"
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Tim P
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Joined: Mar-19-07
Location: United States
Posts: 708
Posted: Oct-28-09 at 11:01pm | IP Logged  


Agree.  It's good to hear from you again, Connie.
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Connie
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Joined: Dec-03-01
Location: United States
Posts: 1559
Posted: Oct-29-09 at 3:24pm | IP Logged  

Hi everyone, thanks for the nods of welcome. You're very sweet and kind.

      

Connie
"Wow!It's so bright in here!"
II Cor.4:5-6

    
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