Surfing on life banner
The ShovelShack Archives
Between January 2002 and December 2011, almost 46,000 posts were created by members of the Shovel Shack discussion group.
In 2012, the Shovel Shack moved to a new home: shovelshack.org. Shovelshack.net will be kept intact as an archive for those amazing discussions.

Browse a bit and then join us at ShovelShack.org

GREETINGS
 Shovel Shack : GREETINGS
Subject Topic: some smiles to share from my sister in la
Author
Message << Prev Topic | Next Topic >>
Dignz
Shackaddict
Shackaddict


Joined: Jul-18-06
Location: United States
Posts: 1816
Posted: Feb-17-10 at 11:54am | IP Logged  

These announcements actually appeared in church bulletins:

 1. The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

 2. The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

 3. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

 4. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

 5. Don't let worry kill you off -- let the Church help.

 6. Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

 7. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

 8. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

 9. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

 10. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

 11. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

 12. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

 13. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

 14. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

 15. The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

 16. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM -- prayer and medication to follow.

 17. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

 18. This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

 19. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

 20. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.


 21. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

 22. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare' s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

 23. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

 24. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.

                        


Edited by Dignz on Feb-17-10 at 11:55am


      

"afterall, he's not a tame lion"
Back to Top
 
frmhnyb2bttrfly
Extreme Digger
Extreme Digger


Joined: Mar-25-08
Location: United States
Posts: 200
Posted: Feb-17-10 at 12:38pm | IP Logged  

Thanks for posting this!  i forgot how funny these were.

rofl,
mag


      

"for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure. "
Back to Top
 
Dignz
Shackaddict
Shackaddict


Joined: Jul-18-06
Location: United States
Posts: 1816
Posted: Feb-17-10 at 1:46pm | IP Logged  

  
            

      

"afterall, he's not a tame lion"
Back to Top
 
nyagali
Extreme Digger
Extreme Digger


Joined: Apr-03-07
Location: Canada
Posts: 323
Posted: Feb-18-10 at 7:42am | IP Logged  

Thanks for my morning laugh!!
Back to Top
 
luvin
Shackaddict
Shackaddict


Joined: May-20-02
Location: United States
Posts: 5235
Posted: Feb-18-10 at 8:52am | IP Logged  



      

It is peace[the kind we long for] to know that my life patterns do not distract or derail the Living God"-Adam

http:newthatsliving.blogspot.com
Back to Top
 
Dignz
Shackaddict
Shackaddict


Joined: Jul-18-06
Location: United States
Posts: 1816
Posted: Feb-18-10 at 9:44am | IP Logged  

happy to share what brings a smile or chuckle or full out laugh    ... it doeth good like a medicine. 




      

"afterall, he's not a tame lion"
Back to Top
 
4Rebeccaenm
Digger
Digger


Joined: May-24-09
Location: United States
Posts: 40
Posted: Feb-19-10 at 6:44pm | IP Logged  

haha! I want to go to THIS church meeting...

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM -- prayer and medication to follow.

Thanks for your good medicine Sheri. Love you!!!


Back to Top
 
Dignz
Shackaddict
Shackaddict


Joined: Jul-18-06
Location: United States
Posts: 1816
Posted: Feb-19-10 at 11:16pm | IP Logged  

         

      

"afterall, he's not a tame lion"
Back to Top
 
mary
Shackaddict
Shackaddict


Joined: Mar-03-02
Location: United States
Posts: 1942
Posted: Feb-21-10 at 12:09pm | IP Logged  


    Sherri, If you could have only heard Dave roaring with laughter over these on Friday night!


      

Mary
Back to Top
 
Dignz
Shackaddict
Shackaddict


Joined: Jul-18-06
Location: United States
Posts: 1816
Posted: Feb-22-10 at 11:37am | IP Logged  

  that would have been great fun!      

love yous!    (yes, i MEANT to say 'yous'.)  




      

"afterall, he's not a tame lion"
Back to Top
 

 



the shovel home page