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Personal IC experiences
 Shovel Shack : Personal IC experiences
Subject Topic: How do you answer?
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dlinn94
Extreme Digger
Extreme Digger


Joined: Jan-09-08
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Posts: 183
Posted: Mar-19-08 at 2:14pm | IP Logged  

How do you answer the question that always comes up, "where do you attend church?"  When we answer that we no longer attend anywhere, we get that "blank" wierd look, and we feel the need to elaborate.  What or how do you who have been away from the IC for a long while respond to those kinds of encounters.  We don't feel the need to explain but we would love a way to clip it off without the sence to further explain.  My wife's parents, who are big-time IC supporters, will be coming to town.  My wife is concerned about the response.  Thoughts???

Dave



      

Took the Red Pill
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luvin
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Joined: May-20-02
Location: United States
Posts: 5235
Posted: Mar-19-08 at 2:44pm | IP Logged  

...you are defended in Him.



Edited by luvin on Mar-19-08 at 2:48pm


      

It is peace[the kind we long for] to know that my life patterns do not distract or derail the Living God"-Adam

http:newthatsliving.blogspot.com
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the shovel
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Joined: Oct-01-01
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Posts: 4187
Posted: Mar-19-08 at 2:45pm | IP Logged  

Hello Dave!

Yeah, I think many of us have gotten a little gun-shy about having this question. I just read some good thoughts on this on another thread. I think you might find it revealing. :)

Quote:

As for my wife and I, we looking for kindness and understanding and genuine fellowship with God's people after being roughed up in various religious systems.  We are newly out (4 months) of the IC.  We sensed God's call to come out of it all, and the journey has been progressively eye opening.


I don't know, but it sounded like a pretty good answer to me.  :)

Love, Jim


      

DIGGIN'THE LIFE!
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dlinn94
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Posted: Mar-19-08 at 3:04pm | IP Logged  

Ha Ha, Touche!!!

      

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Dave S
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Joined: Dec-01-01
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Posted: Mar-19-08 at 9:35pm | IP Logged  

Dave

I usually ask them which church they thought Jesus attended.

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luvin
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Posted: Mar-19-08 at 9:56pm | IP Logged  



      

It is peace[the kind we long for] to know that my life patterns do not distract or derail the Living God"-Adam

http:newthatsliving.blogspot.com
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Dignz
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Joined: Jul-18-06
Location: United States
Posts: 1816
Posted: Mar-19-08 at 10:37pm | IP Logged  

how about just telling them that you have discovered this great 'church' at a place called the shack.  it is a very private sanctum and no one but the most spiritual and the most highly righteous can enter.  it has changed your lives and you can now bring yourselves to go no where else.  

kidding ... i'm kidding ... you guys know i'm kidding, right?     but ... really ... was it a little bit funny? 

my hubby has probably shared this before, but i will share it again.  we have some friends who used to live not far from here who had come out of a 'church' that they had been VERY active in for years, and at first, they hated even going out of their house because of running into some of these people who were sooo concerned for their apparent 'falling away from god', 'sinning', etc.  it got to the point that when they DID go out, they had to look over their shoulders and around every corner and when one of them saw these people, they would warn each other with something like, "bogey alert!!  bogey alert! bogey at 2 o'clock!!  bogey! bogey!"  

they are lonnng over that now, but ... we used to get a kick out of that with them when we would meet together.  they moved away to another state.  we miss them.  we visit ever so often on the way to or on the way back from my hubby's sister's.

and mr. shovel, you are just waaaaay too sharp and funny!  but ... really ... good point!  it IS a great thing you said dlinn!!    expressed very well!


      

"afterall, he's not a tame lion"
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Dignz
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Posted: Mar-19-08 at 10:42pm | IP Logged  

"My wife's parents, who are big-time IC supporters, will be coming to town.  My wife is concerned about the response.  Thoughts???"

how about being OUT of town when they are IN? 

i know ... that isn't funny.  it's late.  i have the sillies.  i have to go to bed now!

 


      

"afterall, he's not a tame lion"
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dlinn94
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Posted: Mar-19-08 at 11:27pm | IP Logged  

"how about being OUT of town when they are IN?  "

 

Now that's a thought  



      

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Connie
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Posted: Mar-20-08 at 12:33am | IP Logged  

Dave S wrote:

Dave

I usually ask them which church they thought Jesus attended.

There ya go! Atta boy, Dave S!  Sharper than any double edged sword!

Yea, what Jim said, Dave L! The heart felt truth always works for me.  One time I even laughed at the person who was admonishing me to get back to church.  I laughed and said, "Oh, I'm doing okay without it!"  It seemed to leave him speechless.



      

Connie
"Wow!It's so bright in here!"
II Cor.4:5-6

    
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Joyce
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Posted: Mar-20-08 at 2:51am | IP Logged  

I have tended to stammer and freeze at times when asked that.  Afterward, I would think of things I COULD have said... some with negative connotations.  Guess as with all things there is no pat answer.  Maybe we can trust that we are given "at that time" what to say.... or not to say. 

I found out recently that my daughter was asked quite a long time ago at a wedding shower from our former pastor's wife if she was going to church somewhere.  Julie tends to respond to things with a smiling graciousness and answered, "No, I'm not, and I'm ok with that."  

Joyce

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dlinn94
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Posted: Mar-20-08 at 8:14am | IP Logged  

What a wonderful place to be re-oriented.  Thanks for all your helpful input. 

      

Took the Red Pill
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ShannonC
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Joined: Jun-21-07
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Posts: 749
Posted: Mar-20-08 at 9:29am | IP Logged  

Dlinn:

Years ago I attended an I.C., got out for about 10 years and then went back - it took me about 2 months to realize why I left in the first place.   I now have the ladies in the sunday school class I went to briefly contacting me quite often.  They let me know they are concerned for me and praying for me.  There is no doubt in my mind they the believed I am "backsliding" (what a great I.C. word), and I honestly understand the thought behind their concern - I've been there and thought the same way about others when I was heavily into the I.C.  Heck, I judged people about everything without even speaking to them.  I have only told the sunday school class that there is no reason for concern and that God is working in my life.  I would love to tell them exactly why I am not going, but, alas, I have not.  I am not going to worry myself to death about whether I should or should not.  If the opportunity presents itself, so be it. There will be a time and place.  For now, I just don't go.  I think I'll know when, if there is a time, because I will sense that it will be a fruitful conversation.  I tend to be seeing lately that some conversations are simply FUTILE and FRUITLESS.

I am so glad you are here sharing.  I love to read your posts.

Love, Brother!



      

ShannonC
HE IS SO GOOD!
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dlinn94
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Posted: Mar-20-08 at 10:13am | IP Logged  

Shannon,

Yes, I can relate to what you are saying.  Initially, my wife and I were accused of "being without a covering,"  "not submitting to leadership,"  "forsaking the assembly of..." and although not directly stated but felt, "backsliding!"  Most of those comments have lost their inititual traction though, and we have fellowship with those whose relationship with us went deeper than affiliation with the local IC.  Awe yes, and the statements of "we are praying for you,"  yes indeed.  The implications are that there is something wrong with you that needs fixed!

Our bigger concerns are our families who are steeped in the IC connection, who see disconnect from it as being disconnected in some way from the Lord Himself.  I would have felt the same way in times past, I'm sure.  The IC has done a great job in making itself relevant and needed and necessary.  Our culture (perhaps it's just the church culture) sees Christians being associated with a local IC, and if not, they see it as something not right, mostly from a knee-jerk kind of reaction. 

In any case, I guess we were looking for ways to by-pass our families knee-jerk reaction to us answering their questions about our "church" by telling them that we are no longer going.  And the awkwardness of them processing all of that.  My wife's family will be in our house for 3 days when this topic comes up.  Hey it is what it is; we are where we are on this God Journey.  And to be honest, we are having the time of our lives.  We have never been more excited about living with LIFE, His LIFE finding expression as we walk in the way.

A little awkwardness with those we call family is a very small cost when compared to what many endure for the Lord Jesus day in and day out.  That too will pass.  Great to be free!!!  THANKS for your kind words!

Dave

 



      

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ShannonC
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Posted: Mar-20-08 at 10:32am | IP Logged  

Dave:

I can see where family would be tougher to handle - so to speak -than acquantinces strictly in the I.C.  I am blessed, lucky, in my circumstances that way - my family does not "expect" me to go to church. 

You'll have the words (even when you think you don't) inside you.



      

ShannonC
HE IS SO GOOD!
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dlinn94
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Posted: Mar-20-08 at 11:24am | IP Logged  

Shannon,

Yeah, you're right.  The words are inside, especially when we have no agenda to try so hard to make them understand or like us.  We just need to speak the truth in love, and trust God's voice to make sense to those who have ears to hear and eyes to see.

Grace to you



      

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Dignz
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Posted: Mar-20-08 at 12:03pm | IP Logged  

"A little awkwardness with those we call family is a very small cost when compared to what many endure for the Lord Jesus day in and day out." <-- dlinn

enjoyed that!  also very much enjoy all that you share about your life!  thank you!





      

"afterall, he's not a tame lion"
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frmhnyb2bttrfly
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Posted: Mar-29-08 at 2:53am | IP Logged  

Joyce wrote:

I have tended to stammer and freeze at times when asked that.  Afterward, I would think of things I COULD have said... some with negative connotations.  Guess as with all things there is no pat answer.  Maybe we can trust that we are given "at that time" what to say.... or not to say. 

Joyce

This is cool.  On different subjects, this has happened to me.  Later, i think of something witty that i wish i had said, but it might have come across mean.  I have to thank God for not letting it come out of my mouth at the wrong/right time.  I should say come to mind, but witty stuff skips past my mind and just comes out my mouth. 



      

"for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure. "
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